by Sean Whitted
My world was literally being shaken, in a good and bad way. The bad was that I started think about what it meant for me, what my wife would think, my parents, and those close to me. Those who know me well have seen me all over the map on a number of levels, so I imagined that most would immediately think this was just another fad and not take me seriously. The good was the understanding of Orthodoxy, the theology, clicked with me. I was already groomed for it in my many years of devotion to the teaching and understanding of Dr. Dallas Willard, who was a former Southern Baptist Pastor and long time Philosophy Professor at USC. He really helped me to come the understanding that The Kingdom of God was not far off in the distant future, but a very present reality.
Also notable in his teaching was that
“Grace is not opposed to effort, but to earning.”
In the same train of thought, he would say that many Christians are just banking on the fact that Jesus did everything for us, which by implication is the fact that we are not obligated to do anything except relish in the fact that Jesus took our place and then we are stuck here in the waiting room of life, just waiting to get to heaven. Little did I know, but Christians have always believed that our participation is required by picking up our cross daily.
The thought that as a Christian, once we “get saved”, we are just waiting to get to heaven, and most of what we long for is on the next side of eternity and very little to do with this life, is a very modern one. The notion of a “Rapture” that is supposed to precede “The Great Tribulation”, which so many embrace, believe, and teach, can be traced back to the 1820’s AD where it started to be promulgated . The idea that the resurrection will be totally “spiritual”, usually understood as having nothing to do with our body whatsoever, is of the earliest heresies to face the Church, that of Docetism and or Gnosticism. The “Sinner’s Prayer”, another modern practice, has never been practiced in Christianity until the 18th century.Lastly, Baptism has always been the entry point by which one becomes identified with Christ’s Body, His Church, where one is born of the water and of the Spirit and is Born Again, not through a prayer only.
The idea that baptism and the Eucharist (Communion) were merely symbolic and that nothing actually occurs in the physical realm, cannot be found anywhere in the praxis and teaching of the Church throughout history. I asked myself: how was it possible for some to be sick and others dead, according to St. Paul, when receiving the Eucharist in an unworthy manner, if indeed the body and blood were only symbolic (1 Cor. 11:29-30)?These are just to name a few of the big differences in how I was raised contrasted with original Christianity. With all these things in mind, having spent years in Philosophy, I understood that you can’t just write off a belief due to its age. However, finding out that many of my beliefs were at odds with what Christians have always believed, practiced and have always been done,had now caused me to feel very uncomfortable with many of my longstanding convictions.
One night as Amber started to walk upstairs, I told her that my deepest desire was to be holy, as cheesy as that sounds, and that I felt that Orthodoxy was the truest and safest path to ensuring that in this life. She then said in a not so quiet voice
”So, are you saying that I can’t be holy where I go to church?”
No, that is not what I was saying… but that is what she heard. She then told me that she had no interest in Orthodoxy and that she would support me if I wanted to go that direction, but it was not for her. I got it! I understood! It was and is a big deal, a completely different way on many levels of being a Christian; first in how we view ourselves as Christians, what is salvation, what our purpose as Christians are on a daily basis, heaven and hell, how we worship, etc..
After about a year of deep immersion into the life of the Orthodox Church, in worship and her teaching, Candice, the best friend mentioned earlier, started to ask Amber questions about what I had come to embrace. Amber didn’t know the answers and kept saying, “I don’t know”, and then would ask me.
Around the same time, this started to happen with her family as well, asking her questions about why the Orthodox believed this or that. She started to get aggravated because she didn’t know the answers, but also because some were saying less than kind things about me as well as making insinuations. So, she started to look for herself online and discovered some answers; this one she found was a list of the views of Orthodoxy and brief definitions.
She then would ask me, to make sure it was right, and then she would pass along what she found. After some time, she started to defend me to her family and to some of her friends. After a series of long conversations that I had with Candice, she decided to check it out for herself once again, but now at St. Barnabas with a fresh perspective.She asked Amber to come along with her and I so that she wouldn’t be alone.
After that Sunday, Candice started attending regularly. Not too long after, Doug, Amber’s brother, started to attend with us. At that point, since both Candice and Doug were coming, Amber came more often, but was torn because of her commitments to her church to sing, and also because she had friends there that she wanted to stay connected with. Still, however, she was not really sold yet and had many of her own concerns that had not really been answered or solved.
One night, Amber and I took a stroll around our complex, walking off our dinner, when she dropped a bomb on me.
”You know, I’m pretty upset at you!”
“Really”, I said, “what for?”
“Because I feel like you kind of just left me behind in your journey as you have been moving into Orthodoxy.”
I was stunned and without words to capture how I felt at that moment.
“Well”, I said,” I thought you didn’t want to become Orthodox?”
“I don’t!” she replied without hesitation. “But, since I made it clear in the beginning that I wasn’t going become Orthodox, you have just been doing your own thing!”
I could not have seen that one coming! I was perplexed, startled, dumbfounded, and just flat out confused. I remarked,
”Babe, I really was just trying to show you respect. I have gotten to the place of acceptance that you may never join me, and I am now ok with it. We came into this marriage together on the same page, going to the same church, believing mostly the same things, and it was I that was taking a different turn. I respect you too much to try and push you into this, convince you, persuade you, etc… If you ever decide that you want this, it has to come from you! You will have to answer to God, to your family, to your friends. Therefore, you will have to walk that journey for yourself, but I will be with you IF that ever happens. Either way, I love you, and am so grateful that you are a Christian. Period!”
Up until this point, I had planned on coming into the Church at Pascha (Passover in Greek), which is Easter for us Orthodox. One of my Priests, Fr. Wayne, had mentioned in our catechumen class just before Amber had released the atomic bomb upon me that he needed to know who was planning on being received into the Church as well as some other personal info. However, as a result of what Amber had leveled out, my heart had gone from full assurance to the opposite strong conviction that I needed to wait. I was deeply saddened! I wanted so badly to finally be able to receive the Eucharist (Communion) and to begin to celebrate the other Mysteries (Sacraments) of the Church without any hindrance. At the same time, though, I knew deep down now, that I was supposed to wait. I didn’t know for how long, and I didn’t hear any voices, I just knew. I then wrote an email to both of my priests and explained my situation, and for my reasons why I needed to hold off.
They were both very gracious and exclaimed that they believed I was making the right decision to wait and that the Church was not going anywhere and not in a hurry. What was painful was watching the catechumen class of around 20 be baptized and or chrismated into the Church without me. I was especially sad, because a friend that I had become really close with, Eric Sorem, whom was childhood friends with Amber and Doug in High School, had become very interested in Orthodoxy a few months after me due to a conversation that he and I had about the understanding of Sola Scriptura, the belief that the Bible alone was a Christians supreme authority. He and his wife were leaving Lutheranism to take part in the One, Holy, Catholic (Catholic, meaning “according to the whole” or “universal”, not necessarily identified with Roman Catholicism) and Apostolic Church, and I would not be joining them now. Eric and I would talk on the phone regularly, pick each other’s brains, encourage one another, so on and so forth. I wanted so badly for us to complete together, what we, for all intents and purposes, began together. God, on the other hand, had other things in mind.
As the ensuing months rolled on, I became even more convinced that all was well and that I had made the right decision to wait. There was a noticeable shift in my own thinking about how God was in control no matter what had happened, and it would all be okay even if I didn’t like the results, i.e., that Amber was not joining me. In our understanding of sanctification as Orthodox Christians, the term generally used isTheosis, where we as God’s adopted children (Jesus being the Only begotten from all eternity), partake in and participate in God’s life, referred to as His energies, via the Holy Spirit. Once we enter the Body of Christ, the Church, through our baptism into His death, we are called to be participants in the divine nature (2 Pet.1:4), again, in God’s own Life, where we are changed from glory to glory (2 Cor.3:18).
This is very similar to marriage, where there is a ceremony and the two become one, however, it is really only the beginning and they most likely have very little idea what it means when they enter into this covenant and lifelong commitment to actually BE married, day in and day out. This process of Theosis is where we get tested and purified, and the purpose is to ultimately help us grow more into the likeness of our Savior Jesus Christ, to literally die that He might live in us and that we become fully alive with His eternal kind of life, not the kind that we are so used to on a daily basis.
I watched the catechumen class come into the Church and now participate in all the ways I so desperately longed for, the people that I spent many Sundays after church with, and it was truly a tough pill to swallow. Now with the mindset that it would most likely be another year before another opportunity to become Orthodox, I had to put it out of my mind and continue on with my studies and learning, and continue on in my participation in the life of the Church in order not to despair since I now had to wait for what seemed to be a long time. Since I work at a ranch, and have many days all by myself, I would spend all day listening to podcasts or Audible Books educating myself and going even deeper into the history of the Church, its traditions and understanding.
Doug and Candice were both becoming more and more convinced of the same things that I had, and it was blowing me away because they were both totally in now, and I was not alone once again in this journey. With regards to Amber, I still was not saying much about what I was reading or listening to on a daily basis because even though she expressed that she had been upset with me, I still believed that it was better for me to keep my mouth shut and let the Holy Spirit do His work so that no one could accuse me of brainwashing my wife, but also so that if it did happen, she and I would both know it was for real.
Months went by and Amber started to come more frequently because either Candice or Doug would invite her to attend the Divine Liturgy. However, in recent times when I discussed this with her about that time period, she explains that she was already interested, but was not willing to let it be known just yet. Then, a change started to take place in her, ever so subtly, but one that was noticeable to me. She started to sing the songs more at church and want to come with me to extra functions. She also wanted to spend time with some of the other parishioners outside of church where we went for some dinner gatherings, Bible Studies, so on and so forth. Around the same time, I also started noticing her wanting to listen to some of my podcasts that I had on my phone, read some of my books, ask more questions, and even went to my church with Candice one weekend when I was at home sick.
I was still in disbelief, but then something even more unimaginable happened.
One evening, we were on our way over to the Qualls’ house for dinner, an amazing family that we went to Church with, and Amber said to me,
“You know, Candice sent me an article today about women covering their heads in church…”.
With astonishment,I remarked,
” Really? And…?”
” Yeah, it was pretty powerful. You should read it.”
In my mind, my head was shaking in total disbelief.
“You mean…you liked it?”
“ Yeah! I found it very convincing. Do you want to hear it?”
There is absolutely no way I could have ever anticipated such a conversation. So, we listened to the article together and talked about it. I couldn’t believe it! What was happening? What was going on in my wife’s heart? God was up to something for sure. Next day, Sunday, we went to church, and the last thing I ever thought I would see happen, happened. Not only did she wear a head covering, but she started to make the sign of the cross. Now, that may not sound like a big deal to some, but to see these both happen in the same day, with no prior warning or visible signs to me, was the height of craziness. Some of my close friends looked at me with curious smiles, and a few asked me what was going on, what had happened, and all I could do was say,
“I DON’T KNOW!!”
A month later, Amber asked me about having dinner with some friends on a specific date, April 12th , 2014,and I said,
”Babe, I can’t! That is the day I am getting Baptized and Chrismated into the Church.”
She then replied, “You mean we?”
If there was ever a jaw hitting the floor moment, this was it. I did not know what was happening! I really was just so blown away with what had been going on, and now this. It felt too good to be true, but I found out quickly that it wasn’t. She was now all in with me, Candice and Doug. We were all going to come into the Church at the same time and on the same day.
The elation and joy I felt was overwhelming and now the last year of holding off and waiting, now all made sense. Seeing God’s hand in the whole thing, how everything had worked so perfectly, it was certainly nothing I could have scripted, nor even believed would have taken place; it just shows my serious lack of faith. I am thankful to God that he was not deterred by my lack and that he brought this story to the most beautiful conclusion. I was not just standing up in front of the Church on that special day with one good friend, but with my wife, her brother and best friend!
On that day, there were 8 of us that were brought into the fold. I was as nervous that day as I was when I got married 7 years earlier. The reason for my nervousness was that I knew all along that I was being married to Christ, His Body, which is the Church, the Israel of God, where we are the bride and He is the Bridegroom, and where He prepares us to meet His Father at the end of time, the end of the ages where the Great Resurrection and Final Judgment takes place. I knew that the commitment I was making was at least as significant as the day I married Amber. I knew that I was no longer a lone ranger Christian, really only accountable to myself and my own whims.
I knew that there was a path that if I stayed on it, and listened to those faithful who have trodden this way before me and followed their lead, Lord willing, I would be better off than where I was before.
Lastly, I knew that God is truly good, that He is the lover of mankind, that He is not willing that any perish, but that ALL should come to repentance, which is to have a change of heart/mind and choose His ways, and to participate in His Life which never dies and never ends. I knew that His plans include us, that He desires us to be like Him, and that He will save all who desire to be rescued from their own ways. May my heart never turn back to wallow in the mire, my own stench, to never be neglectful of and take for granted this Love that cost God the death of His Only Begotten Son. May I continue to die daily and become like a child, easily impressionable and trusting of our Heavenly Father, without a judging heart, completely guileless, full of humility and love and finally, may I become fully alive as God intended and to shine in His Glory. Amen!
Well come home brothers!
Greetings from Romania! It will good for u to visit orthodox countries for incrising yours faith.
Come for 3 monta in Romania, for. example, or Greece or Russia.
In Christ! Fr. Radu from Cluj, Romania
Very nice story! I’ve been waiting to read the second part. Hmm, I want however to say that women covering their head in church is not a necessity. It should be clear that Paul the Apostle didn’t make it a rule for women to cover their head but he wanted to stress that what is accepted in society(of his time) as modest appearance should also be retained inside the church.
For example, in the Greek Orthodox Church women don’t cover their head.
Not true. St. Paul is clear on the issue, and many women in Greek Orthodox parishes do follow his instructions. You can’t even attend a monastery as a woman without doing so.
The rule I knew was for women not to wear trousers in a church or a monastery but instead a long skirt. In fact in most monasteries they provide one for women at the entrance.
I live in Greece and that’s what I’ve seen so far….
Wow! A very inspiring story and I didn’t know about Amber converting as well… Congrats!
Two things my mom has taught me is that “God works in mysterious ways” and that “God has a plan”. We usually don’t understand why things happen the way they do, good or bad, but there’s usually a reason behind it that we only see later. Looking forward to seeing you and Amber at church!
Well done, beautifully written!
Thank you!
Dn. John Ma’ae
Monasteries here are more strict evidently.
Fr. Radu,
Thanks for reading and taking the time to write, and with the encouragement to visit those countries. I plan to do so one day, Lord willing and time permitting. I met some Romanian monks last Summer when a few visited our Parish. I would absolutely love to visit all of those places.
Respectfully,
Sean
Thank you for sharing your story, made especially more meaningful by the fact that Amber was able to share it with you. About the head covering, Greeks generally do not cover their heads. I’m not sure why but some theorize that it is a reaction against Islam. The rules about monasteries differ depending on the monastery. The Greek ones here in America tend to be more strict because of their particular founder. Other Orthodox monasteries in America are not as strict. Likewise, when I was in Greece and Cyprus last year, I was surprised that the head covering was not strictly enforced at monasteries. About the statement by St. Paul in 1 Corinthians, while translations sometimes actually use the word “veiled” it does not say “veiled.” It says “covered” and it is not clear exactly what he meant by that because some people believe that he was referring to the custom of respectable Greek women wearing their hair piled on their heads rather than worn down and loose, which was associated with some ecstatic mystery cults. Think about the Greek statues you have seen. The women are shown with their hair up. We just don’t know exactly what Paul meant or what the Corinthian women were or were not doing. It is clear that he was emphasizing that women be dressed properly and modestly. No one would disagree with that. There is nothing wrong with Orthodox women covering their heads in Church. I don’t practice that myself but I think it is a beautiful custom and espression of piety, however, it should never be used as a ruler for judging one’s Orthodoxy.
Thank you for sharing your story, made especially more meaningful by the fact that Amber was able to share it with you. About the head covering, Greeks generally do not cover their heads. I’m not sure why but some theorize that it is a reaction against Islam. The rules about monasteries differ depending on the monastery. The Greek ones here in America tend to be more strict because of their particular founder. Other Orthodox monasteries in America are not as strict. Likewise, when I was in Greece and Cyprus last year, I was surprised that the head covering was not strictly enforced at monasteries. About the statement by St. Paul in 1 Corinthians, while translations sometimes actually use the word “veiled” it does not say “veiled.” It says “covered” and it is not clear exactly what he meant by that because some people believe that he was referring to the custom of respectable Greek women wearing their hair piled on their heads rather than worn down and loose, which was associated with some ecstatic mystery cults. Think about the Greek statues you have seen. The women are shown with their hair up. We just don’t know exactly what Paul meant or what the Corinthian women were or were not doing. It is clear that he was emphasizing that women be dressed properly and modestly. No one would disagree with that. There is nothing wrong with Orthodox women covering their heads in Church. I don’t practice that myself but I think it is a beautiful custom and espression of piety, however, it should never be used as a ruler for judging one’s Orthodoxy.
I respectfully disagree Dr. Jeannie. While we may not know all the details, St. Paul is pretty clear about his opinions here, stating “it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a woman will not veil herself, then she should cut off her hair…If any one is disposed to be contentious, we recognize no other practice, nor do the churches of God.”
Nothing should be used as a ‘barometer’ of Orthodoxy, despite the fact that many things often are. With us, nothing is a ‘law’ but the Tradition is freedom in grace.
That being said, the Scriptures are clear, and the universal Tradition of the Church throughout history and across the globe has followed his prescription. We do indeed know what St. Paul declared to be the practice of the churches. And that is why it is our Tradition.
I myself am an Orthodox Christian and an ethnic Greek and I belong to the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, sadly, I do not see many women cover their heads in Church although I do see a few. I myself am extremely traditional and conservative and I do believe that women must wear a veil as a sign of respect towards the Lord and His Holy Apostles, Prophets, Saints, and Holy Church. Also, I believe that the reason was Greek women don’t veil themselves is because Greece is a semi-western nation and has been influenced by the United States and other secular countries. Even though the Church of Greece has great political influence in Athens, it has so far not been able to counter Western Culture unlike Russia where the Church of Russia and the Government have brought great morality back to the people. I pray that more women veil themselves and stop following the Secularists.
Dear John and Dr. Constantinou,
Thank you both for your reply’s, and for taking the time to read our story and for writing me. I appreciate what you both have to say and I can say that in my two years, I have seen enough to know what you are saying. In my Parish, half the women cover their heads and the other half don’t. That being said, I know that I am an infant in the Church and that I am sharing our own personal story, not writing a theological treatise nor am I trying to make a case for head coverings, whether overtly or subliminally. I was just trying to keep our story as real as possible because I know so many want transparency, and authentic Christianity. One of the most impacting parts of my journey was people’s testimonies. My goal in sharing ours was to possibly help at least one person, and hopefully more, and to answer some questions or concerns that others will encounter. I will attach the article below that she read, and then we, which convinced her to wear the head covering. I am fully aware that people’s piety varies, but I can say that I admire my wife a whole lot more now after she read it and wanted to move forward in obedience. I listened to it again today, since I’m on a road trip, and I loved it just as I did the first time. Feel free to read it and let me know what you think!
Blessings,
Sean
http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/headcoverings.aspx#.UwZbtYpxt2A.email
Kyra and Dn. John,
Thank you to both of you for the wonderful and warm remarks! May God bless you both ????
Peace in Him,
Sean
Dear Constantine,
Thank you for your addition. The very last point that you made: “I pray that more women veil themselves and stop following the secularists”, I pray that the sentiment behind that is extended to all of our piety, that none of our praxis is determined by our modern culture or by those who surround us. May the Holy Spirit have His way with us, and may we, the Church, be purified so that the light of Christ is placed upon the hillside for all to see.
In Christ.
Sean
Yes Sean, I completely agree. It is not just the head covering and women but all Orthodox Faithful in ALL issues! We should study and accept the teachings of the Church because the teachings of the Church are from God and we should not be ashamed of our belief in the One Truth because of the culture we live in.
Also may I ask, as a former Protestant what made you want to covert to Orthodoxy in the first place? I have issues with some Protestants where I live, they constantly want to bash the Faith and even though my brothers in the Faith and I always rebuke them, we don’t feel they are understanding the message. So if you can give some testimony or advice on how we could get through to them and live in peace that would be great.
God bless!
I’ve been interested in orthodoxy for well over a year now and face similar spousal issues.
How were you able to overcome some of the scandalous societal issues. For instance, I know that drinking alcohol is not strictly prohibited. Coming from a conservative Pentecostal background, this is definitely a stumbling block.
Not trying to feed the troll on head coverings… my heterodox tradition forbids women cutting their hair based on the same passage with a different interpretation. What gets me it’s how spun up people can get over women’s hair. Whatever. That won’t be my wife’s problem. It will be driving people drinking wine for fun on pascha. Help me explain that please.
Robert, the ‘scandal’ of wine drinking is simply put – Jesus was not a puritan. He turned 120-180 gallons of water into wine. Greek is a funny language – it has a different word for every word. It has a word for juice, grape juice, and wine. Try making juice before refrigeration and pasteurization – it cannot be done. It ferments. In any event, we are not prohibited from drinking wine (which is food), we are prohibited from getting drunk. Pascha is a joyous time, and the celebration of Christ’s Resurrection is a feast. Try not to project puritanical scruples into the Bible or first century Judaism, and you will be very much at home in the Orthodox faith. Don’t forget which Christian tradition is THE Tradition!
Kyra and Dn. John,
I am not able to edit my comments and somehow I ended with all question marks, which were supposed to be exclamation points. Sorry!
Peace,
Sean
Dear Constantine,
Thanks again for the comment and for the wise words in your first paragraph.
Regarding the question as to why I wanted to convert to Orthodoxy, I will answer you the way I answered my Dad when he asked me why I wanted to convert. I told him that I didn’t want to, that it had nothing to do with “want”, but that I believed that it was indeed the Church that Christ established through His Apostles, and that it remained more true to all that was passed down than the other couple of traditions that go back to the beginning as well. I told him that it would be much easier to remain where I was, along with my wife, my family, her family, and our friends if it had to do with “want”. I based my decision off of conviction, and also because deep down I now truly believed that this was the direction I was supposed to go. Anything more than that is spelled out in the first part of my journey.
Regarding the issues that you are having with the Protestants you referred to, I would say that rebuking anyone will rarely win anyone. I have done plenty of that in my life, and the results were never good. Generally speaking, most of us can’t handle giving a rebuke without our ego or pride getting in the way. So, I believe it is better to error on the side of grace. I believe that if we truly come alive and are filled with Christ’s life, people will be drawn to us as they were drawn to Him. My advice is actually the same as in what I ended up doing with my wife in the story, which was to keep my mouth shut and let the Holy Spirit work through us. Of course, if some ask questions, then you have earned the right to speak with them, but I don’t give it all at once, or at least I try not to. Remember, we are supposed to be fishers of men. When there is a nibble, you don’t yank on the line, you let the hook get set first (which is usually the fish’s initiative), then you reel it in 🙂 We are supposed to be the salt of the earth, which causes people to be thirsty, or with the perfect amount of salt food tastes much better than without it. However, if you put too much salt on food, it can be almost inedible, and make you sick, if you catch my drift. I think that our life should do most of the talking. Hope that helps!
In Him,
Sean
Hi Robert,
Thank you as well for your comment and for sharing a bit about yourself.
As far as the drinking “issue” goes, trust me, I understand. I grew up in an environment where good Christians did not drink, watch rated R movies, swear, etc.. You know what I’m saying! Bad Christians, well, did all of those and more. My answer is a little more indirect, but I have come to LOVE that in Orthodoxy, humility is where we are supposed to start. We are all supposed to consider ourselves as the worst sinner, worse than all others. We are not supposed to be looking around, seeing what everyone else is doing, and give our approval or disapproval. We are not to judge people, EVER! If Jesus did not come to judge, which is what He said, then when we judge, we are actually siding with the accuser of the brethren and furthering his kingdom, not our Lord’s. So, trying to focus a little more in on what you are asking, when one really starts to participate in the life of the Church, by the regular fasting, the different feasts throughout the year, striving to repent and allow God the space to heal us, the issue of what others are doing fades into the background. For those on the outside looking in, coming to church celebrations and seeing what goes on, comparing that to their own church culture, will absolutely seem foreign and possibly wrong if they don’t leave their bias’ at the door. What I can say, As I mentioned above, and in my story, if you are searching, be true to yourself before God, true to your convictions, establish a relationship with your Priest, and let yourself be changed through participation in the life of the Church. When your wife sees you changing in the positive direction, that’s something she cannot argue against. Below i will attach an interview done by someone I mentioned in my story, and how when he got that he needed to be quiet, God was able to move in his wife’s heart.
Take care,
Sean
http://www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts/illuminedheart/one_marriage_two_churches_loving_your_spouse_into_the_orthodox_church
I don’t normally allow links in comments – as most of you know – but I’ll make an exception here.
Fr John,
Thank you for the explanation about food. That makes a lot of sense. I wholly agree that there is only one Tradition and recognize that where I come from theologically has no authentic or legitimate claim to holy Tradition. I’ve read most of the conversion stories on your site over the last year and a half. Thank you for this wonderful and illuminating resource. I hope someday that my conversion story will be able to be written. Gotta get there first though. 🙂
Sean,
Thank you for your words of wisdom and advice. As mentioned above, I’ve read many conversion stories. Yours was the first that brought me almost to tears. Thank you for the link.I will listen to it on the way to work this morning.
Robert,
Your words are very humbling! I decided to write my story because a huge part of my journey was in reading all of the conversion stories on this site and also on the old Podcast series called “The Illumined Heart” on Ancient Faith Radio. If you are hungry for more that you can listen to, there are plenty in that series. I was recommended to contact Fr. John by my Godfather to see about possibly putting my story on here. I was a bit reticent because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, and honestly, it makes me a little uncomfortable. However, I thought if it helps some along the way, as I was helped, it would be worth it. Since you and a couple others have seemed to benefit from my story, it is totally worth it to me. If you are on FaceBook, feel free to add me and we can keep the conversation going. I also extend that to any others that may want to do so.
God bless,
Sean
Thank you Sean for your advice once again! I have applied what you have told me and I already see the Holy Spirit making a change on those Protestants!
Dear Constantine,
Praise God! That is wonderful ????
Thank you for sharing that with us. Keep shining!
Blessings,
Sean
Sean, wise words indeed about the wisdom of rebuke with Protestants. I find this generalizes to all areas of life and even fellow Orthodox! 🙂 I’m often reminded that it is, according to the Scriptures, “God’s kindness” (in context, His patience and long-suffering) that leads us to repentance. It’s easy to exasperate the very necessary process for Protestants of asking their hard questions and getting some sense over time of the impact of our practice of the faith on our own lives and the way we treat others. Love attracts. Judgment repels. We cannot judge another without also condemning ourselves.
Sean, this is a beautiful, compelling and moving story of your journey to Orthodoxy and the joys and struggles you and your wife have encountered. I find myself in a very similar place right now as well. Born and raised Jewish – departed from that faith in my late teens and spent many years searching and lost as I syncretically blended all sorts of bits and pieces from different faiths and dogmas. A little over three years ago, in a very dark hour, nearly taking my life, I surrendered and gave my life to Jesus Christ. I have been attending a local church that was a new church plant, since nearly that time and immersed myself in the pursuit of God – wanting to know Him, through Jesus Christ, in a deeper way. And I love the people at this church – such hearts to serve and walk with the marginalized, poor, orphans and each other. They are evangelical Protestant and five point Calvinists – and I have struggled to accept that theology, which I prayerfully could not embrace for many of the same reasons you wrote about.
I long for a deeper walk with Christ. I long for a church where it doesn’t seem made-up as you go. I long to pursue holiness and be part of the Church Catholic – the church founded by Jesus Himself and given to the Apostles and passed down to the church fathers – I long for this ancient faith. Talking with other evangelical friends was met with responses of almost pity and looks of what I would describe as sad frustration. After several candid talks where I told them my prayerful thoughts on the sacraments and liturgy, scholasticism, divine mystery, prima scriptura and holy tradition and experience versus sola scriptura, it was clear to me that Eastern Orthodoxy was not understood by anyone and that my questions left them with the feeling that my journey eastward was one leading me to heresy. I have been dismissed politely as they saw no further benefit and the impression left was that they deemed me a lost sheep. I hold no ill will and I completely understand their perspective, even though I do not affirm or agree with it.
Fortunately, God began to surround me with people right at that same time, who were like ‘God planted sign posts’ on this road eastward. I began to read as much as I could (still do) – wonderful books by Kallistos Ware, Andrew Louth, Alexander Schmemann, John Zizoulas, the early Church fathers like Ignatious of Antioch, Irenaeus, John Chrysostom – and the Desert Fathers and more contemporary figures like Sergius Bulgakov, I had already read many of the writings of Luther, Calvin, Barth and other giants of the Reformed faith. Very profound reads, but nothing like the resonance in my heart and soul when I read the writings of Orthodoxy and the ancient church.
So yesterday, was my first experience at an Orthodox service. I was invited by two brothers – one who was a former Methodist pastor and who for 10 years now has been Orthodox (Antiochian) and is called to the Priesthood. I am not sure I can put into words what I experienced. I sat near the front of the nave – and the cathedral was steeped in beauty and a richness of history – everything there, the icons, the singing and chanting, the incense, the Divine Liturgy (I was there for Orthros as well), the Eucharist (which I understand I cannot participate in yet) – it was all too much to be able to put into words. I came to worship, praise and thank our Father for His Son – and to repent and pray. I did all of those things (and I believe every moment of our lives should be steeped in prayer, repentance, worship, praise and thanksgiving, not just Sunday morning). However I could not help but try and soak in everything – to try and follow along with everyone, and understanding that it will take time for me to become more familiar with the flow of things. But I will say that it was the most beautiful, holy, and glorious service I have ever experienced. I did not see the choir or the chanters, even though they were to my right and left, until the end of the service as I was walking out. That is because I did not want to be impolite and turn to either side during the service. But the singing…it was dare I say, angelic. It seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once. It enveloped me and I felt as though I could not figure out if I were in heaven or earth at times. And when I finally did see the choir, I could not believe that what I had heard came from people who look just like me.
I am praying about going back this Sunday when I have my daughters (10 and 7). They have been attending church with me for the three years I have been a Christian. It is an evangelical American church plant as I said earlier. They wear shorts and t-shirts and do not actually go into the church on Sundays, but go to a different, connected building for a sort of Sunday school experience with singing, and arts and crafts based on the lesson of the day. I am worried that having to dress up a bit and attend a completely different church with a wholly different experience, may result in some issues. But I am their dad, and I will always do my best for them as I follow my Father’s way for me and for my family. And I am confident that Jesus, who loves the children (Matthew 18:10, Mark 10:13-16), will draw my children to Himself, even if there are some bumps along the way.
Sean, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your willingness to share your story. It has given me hope and encouragement and made the face of the journey to Orthodoxy from the evangelical/Protestant perspective, very real to me. I wish you and your wife continued peace in Christ’s presence.
Pray for me,
Matthew
I don’t normally permit such lengthy comments, but I will allow this one.
Matthew, let us know how we can help you. You have set your foot upon a well worn path which many of us have trodden. We can help because we’ve been there.
Dear Karen,
Thank you for the compliment and I have to say that I’m in total agreement with your wise words as well. I was reminded of this today, that is ” the very necessary process for Protestants of asking their hard questions and getting some sense over time of the impact of our practice of the faith on our own lives and the way we treat others”, as you put it. One who suffers long or endures with patience and kindness can melt away years of hardness and mistrust. Lord help us!
Peace,
Sean
Dear Matthew,
Thank you for taking the time to write in such depth, for being transparent, and for sharing with all of us where you currently find yourself. It seems clear to me that God is and has been at work in you for a while, drawing you to His Body, at the right time, and with purpose. I appreciate you reaching out to me on FB and for kindling a relationship beyond my story. I now look forward to walking along side of you and see how God works it all out. By the way, the way that you write, I look forward to reading your bio one day on this site as well 🙂
God bless,
Sean
Hey Matthew,
God bless you for your journey and I hope to see you write an article for this wonderful website when your journey into the New Israel (The Church).
I’ll pray for you and your entire family!
Fr. John – thank you. I did not know there was such a community of those who have traveled upon a well worn path on their journey to Orthodoxy. I am glad to have found this site and I appreciate your work.
Sean – thank you for your kind words; I am humbled by them. More importantly, thank you for your friendship and willingness to be a sign-post on this journey. I am thankful for you and your wife and your willingness to share your stories, experiences and advice with me and everyone else.
Constantine – thank you very much. Your prayers mean more than my words can express.
Always in Christ,
Matthew
I really appreciate reading Sean’s story and many of the comments posted after the fact. I came across a lot of historical information on the Orthodox my freshmen year of college & I was fascinated by it, but at that time, I got the idea that the Orthodox weren’t really taking new patients & I was told that the modern Orthodox Church was nothing like the historical one. I wondered around for several years wanting to be Christian, but not able to go back to the charismatic church that I grew up in. A little over a year ago, I stumbled onto Ancient Faith Radio. I’ve attended some services at the parish closest to me, but my husband is not interested in it at all and doesn’t understand what I see in it or why I would want to drive so far to go to a church when there are plenty in the town we live in. I am a little lost about how to navigate this situation in my marriage and with my kids, so I like hearing stories like this one. This site and its contributors are very valuable to me at this time. Thanks!
Myranda, please see a local priest who can help you. Let me know if you need to find one. We will help.
Dear Myranda,
Thanks for writing! I definitely understand what you are going through and I felt the same despair for a while. But, God is good and if you remain faithful to Him, pursue Him and His kingdom, great things we thought were impossible can happen. Please don’t lose heart. The family in the Orthodox world is HUGE and you will no longer be alone. God’s blessings upon you!
In Christ,
Sean
This is all so interesting! If I remember correctly, an Orthodox prophecy declares that before the End Times, there will be mass conversions to Orthodoxy (Especially from Judaism) and that the Church will spread the Gospel through every inch of the world. Maybe that is exactly what we are seeing! 🙂